MORE WONDER LESS WORRY
Here are a few things I know about assumptions:
1) The definition of an assumption is: a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
2) The old adage, “When we assume we make an ass out of you (u) and me.” is actually quite accurate, and has guided me to seek more clarity before taking action.
3) Most importantly, assumptions limit us, and block us from seeing the potential that exists.
How are they blocking us? Assumptions are riddled with judgement. We believe, because something has happened before, we are convinced that it will happen again, even without proof as stated in the definition. We enter into situations, conversations, experiences with our preconceived perspective and predictions exterminating any chance of a different outcome. “Move along! There is nothing new here.”
Experience is valuable of course, but it can also hinder us when we use past experience to assume things won’t change, that we will fail again when we try, or will be disappointed when we dare to dream. We can underestimate others when we assume, “This first date will suck, because all the ones before did.” We limit the possibilities in situations we assume, “The weekly meeting will be a waste of time because it always has been.” When we think this way, we often disengage, proceed on autopilot, which blinds ourselves from seeing any positive possibilities.
Judgement is a form of protection, we size things up to keep us safe from feeling vulnerable, exposed and unprepared. Most of us humans go to great lengths to avoid those feelings. But we pay quite a price for this protection. It costs us the thrill of wonder, possibility and curiosity. It robs us of imagination, creativity and the optimistic what-ifs.
Knowing how everything turns out is not as fulfilling as it sounds. It makes life predictable and dull, leaving us bored and detached. Thinking like a child or a rookie again, can bring buzzy feelings of anticipation and hope to the spaces that have long seem dried up from promise. Tweaking our thoughts to, “What if I make a new friend on this date tonight?” or “I wonder what I could learn in this meeting today?” raises our awareness of opportunities that have long gone unseen.
Think about a moment in your life where your assumptions had you leading with judgement instead of curiosity. How would that scenario look differently if you swap worry with wonder, or chose to label those butterflies as anticipation instead of fear? Take a small step and test this out in one moment this week. If you lay down your armor of assumptions, you will feel energized and excited to experience the adventure of the unexpected in your life and start living your life full out. How exciting!
The words wonder, judgement and curiosity bring up three of Matty’s favorite pieces of work. The book Wonder (which her daughter read countless times), Louis Armstrong’s voice crooning how wonderful our world is, and this heartwarming scene from the masterpiece that is Ted Lasso. Matty is up for chatting about Wonder, Ted Lasso, or what makes your world wonderful, just send her a note here.
