SAY YOU SAY ME: INTERPRETATIONS
The mind is a beautiful thing, but it can also be our own worst enemy. One of the ways we hold ourselves back from what we really want is by making up stories in our heads, thanks to our interpretations. An interpretation is the opinion or point of view we create based on our beliefs and past experiences. We stray from the facts, and fill in the blanks with fiction to come to our conclusions. When we write these stories we really just “make stuff up” or MSU™.
Do any of these interpretations sound familiar to you?
—“He hasn’t texted me back. I must have screwed something up and he’s upset with me.”
—“I was left off the email again - I am for sure getting laid off.”
—“She keeps asking me questions. She must not think I know what I am doing.”
Here is where it gets dangerous. Once we start making stuff up, we subconsciously go looking for evidence to support it. We ignore the facts, and take everything very personally to prove we were right, and quickly become stuck with tunnel vision of the story we have created. We spin, ruminate and overthink, keeping ourselves blocked from seeing alternative possibilities or solutions.
Most of us have been MSU™ subconsciously since junior high, causing us unnecessary anxiety, exhaustion and misery. Aren’t you tired of it by now? I mean enough is enough! Here are a few tracks to take to break the habit of writing the end to our stories before they have a chance to play out.
Awareness: You can’t stop it until you know how to spot it. So bring attention to what you are doing in the moment, or upon reflection at the end of the day and ask, “What did I make up today?” Once you see it in your actions and the actions of others, it can incentivize you to start doing things differently.
Reframe: When you take a picture out of one frame and place into another, the actual picture can look quite different. Realizing there is another way to look at a situation diminishes the power of the interpretation. Here are some quick reframing questions to ask yourself:
—What’s another way to look at this?
—What would someone else’s perspective of this situation be?
—What would someone with the completely opposite position say?
Fact finding: Quit taking it personally (Q-TIP) and take another peek at the situation looking only at the facts. We can also take matters into your own hands at the moment to get to the facts when we ask, “I don’t want to make this up, can you clarify what you just meant by that?” Or “Just checking, are we ok here?”
So as you head into your tomorrows remember the powerful truth in the old saying, “What people say is about them and what we hear is about us.”
The thought about waiting for a change since our youth made me think of this classic clip from Sex In the City. Matty longed to be as bold as Carrie, but truthfully related most to Miranda, and simply adored that Steve. Who was your girl? Click here to share.
*MSU® is the registered trademark of KickStart Your Edge, LLC.
