WABI SABI
When we spotted a typo on our stack of newly printed holiday cards, my inner critic quickly stepped up to the mic and said, “How could you not have taken the time to double check you idiot? You need to slow down and be more thoughtful.” But, when my husband, Andrew, calmly said, “It’s perfect for 2020.”, I smiled and thought to myself….
Wabi sabi.
I was recently introduced to the concept of wabi sabi by an exceptional coach/trainer, and just last week it popped up in the final season of Red Oaks, a fun show we had been watching on Amazon. And here it was again, showing up for me to see for myself in my own life.
Wabi sabi is a Japanese philosophy that celebrates the beauty in what’s natural, flaws in all. In both art and life, the perfection lies in the imperfections. Leonard Koren, author of "Wabi-Sabi: for Artists, Designers, Poets & Philosophers," coined this definition: "Wabi sabi is the beauty of things imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete, the antithesis of our classical Western notion of beauty as something perfect, enduring, and monumental."
When we learn how to accept the world as inexact, unfinished and transient, we release ourselves of the pressures of perfecting the doing, and embrace the freedom and deliciousness of what comes with simply being. Which is what we are meant for as human beings - to be, not do.
It is important to point out that acceptance does not mean acquiescence. We don’t have to give up on aiming higher, setting aspirational goals, or becoming the best version of ourselves. We simply want to be better prepared to embrace the struggles, the scars, and the missteps that are part of life. When we begin to welcome the flaws, the decay, the bruises, and yes, even the pain, we can truly appreciate the beauty of the entire roller coaster experience; the good and the bad, the highs and the lows.
One of my favorite principles that was shared with me in my coach training was, “You are right where you are supposed to be, so just trust the process.” This thought causes me to slow down, look around, really accept and appreciate the synergy of life, and open my mind to wabi sabi. Through the lens of wabi sabi, the typo on my holiday card was no longer an ugly imperfection, or mark of my shortcomings. It was instead, gorgeous and perfect just as it was.
Moving forward, let’s try to “wabi-sabi-it” and reframe things to see the beauty in the mess around us. Let’s work on accepting that the things that seem out of place (a poor grade, a stain on a new sweater, feelings of loneliness, etc.), are actually right where they are supposed to be, and that is beautiful.
While doing research for this blog, Matty came across a wonderful storyteller who shared her powerful wabi sabi lesson in a 2013 Ted talk entitled Wabi-sabi: The magnificence of imperfection . If you are compelled to spend a little more time learning about wabi sabi, this is 14 minutes well spent. If you want to share your thoughts on the Ted Talk or why you might be craving sushi after reading this blog (wabi sabi? wasabi?) Matty is always down to connect for a chat.
