FREE TO BE ME
“There is something deep inside of me, there is someone I forgot to be.”
Freedom-George Michael
At the top of 2020 I wanted to continue my personal growth work. There was lots to work on, so I needed a focus, a home plate to be running for, a prize to keep my eyes on. I decided to set a one word intention for the year ahead. I was feeling limited and tired of holding myself back because I was so worried about what other people think. I wanted permission to be all of me, for me, so I chose the word freedom.
Ironically, 2020 soon became a year of lockdowns and quarantine, not exactly the picture of carefree living. However, being stuck with myself more than any other year, gave me time to dedicate to freeing my mind.
As a certified professional coach, I knew I couldn’t just sit down and make a to-do list on ways to free myself. To really get to work on feeling free, I had to start from the inside out to pinpoint why felt so locked up. So I turned to my inner thoughts.
We all have an inner critic, our personal gremlin, that tells us in one way or another that we are not enough. They hold us back, by saying things like “you are going to screw that up”, or “everyone will finally know you are an idiot if you do this.”, etc. When we take the gremlin’s advice, we live at less than 100%; and after living small for too long, we become restless to break out of the cell we have locked ourselves into.
My personal gremlin whispers to me, “You are not right enough.” It leads me to overthink, second guess and step back. I have held my tongue, not tried something new, and missed out on experiences by listening to my gremlin. Inevitably I feel crummy because I am not living my truth and am stunting my own growth.
So I pin pointed the “why” I felt locked up. Next I needed to figure out the “how” to free my mind. I decided to take to heart the following three intertwined concepts in 2020:
There are no mistakes.
The quickest route to freedom is to believe that mistakes do not exist. If you adapt your thinking to know in your heart, mind and soul that everything is for the good of your growth, you won’t be as petrified when things do not happen as planned. Your missteps of today are meant to build you into who you get to be tomorrow; someone with more knowledge on how you want to live your next days.
We are doing the best we can with what we have in the present moment.
Acceptance of who you are in this very moment, gives you permission to go for it. You have all you need today, so what are you waiting for? Didn’t turn out like you hoped? Well now you have more information from which to move forward with. As Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, do better.” Lucky you! Now you know how to do better because you tried something.
Adopt a mastery orientation.
Mastery orientation is a mindset that widens your perspective from a singular goal to becoming an expert of your own life. The focus is on the experience, the learning, the growth, not the win or the end game. The goal of mastery is to develop one's ability instead of demonstrate it.
Not long after living these three principles, came the liberation I was longing for. Now, instead of being so worried about what might happen, I get excited to meet the experienced me on the other side of the very tasks that used to lock me up. I am having a lot of fun learning more about me, all thanks to the permission I have given to myself. It has opened my mind and heart to different ideas of who I might become. I will always be work in progress (that gremlin of mine still exists) but knowing that is what makes me free to be me.
A few things to think about if you are searching for personal freedom: How would you live your life differently if you were living not to win, but rather to experience life? What would you do if you could not make a mistake? How committed are you to becoming a master of your own life?
Matty is a forever fan of George Michael. Freedom is one of her favorites, and was playing on loop in her head while writing this blog. What a total bop from 1990 - the voice, the anthem, the models, and “the boys at MTV.” Wanna chat about your favorite freedom tune or compare favorite parts of the Last Christmas video?
